Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
