We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
