Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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