Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
