I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
