You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
