So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
