Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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