I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
