Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so much tequila, so little girl.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
