there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
nutella sex= disaster
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
