i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
