we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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