Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
