Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
