You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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