we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
MIDGETS
????
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
