Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
