hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
