Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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