you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
