all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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