Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
