we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
