oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My liver just had a heart attack.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
