Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
