totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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