I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
