i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my poor anus
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
