you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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