"it" just moved
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
