I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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