she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
