why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
