google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
