I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
