Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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