would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize