yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
