Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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