He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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