Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
