either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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