well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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