is your mom at the bar?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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