i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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