17 year olds will be the death of me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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