whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
