He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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