This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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